More you might like
maybe i am the most miserable boy in the world
mercurial blog
stephen
rthko
Gay men have an incel problem. There’s no doubt that “attractiveness” is a loaded concept and that beauty standards correlate with power relations, but it is rare to find a discourse framework so dogmatic in its association of beauty with privilege. It’s morally just, then, that “privilege” be knocked down a peg. That guy who won’t let you, specifically, fuck him? He’s your oppressor, and if you’re feeling more bold he’s an airhead. He’s catty and shallow. He’s a disease-riddled drug abusing slut. He’s probably insecure and has no self worth outside of sex and parties. See how quickly the logic of “punching up” becomes the pickup artist technique of “negging.” The object of your desire, who it’s your birthright to have sex with, is unapproachable, but you can bring him to your level and assert control by making him insecure.
One of the most glaring exceptions I can think of to the notion of beauty as power includes those who maintain a certain physique for sex work. The stripper or “OnlyFans gay” could be outed and fired from his day job, the boy who pays his living expenses through sugaring lives at the mercy of these relationships, the full service sex worker could face the full brunt of state violence and incarceration. What power do they really have? Apparently just enough for gay sex workers to be a consistent target of incel-style harassment on The Website Formerly Known as Twitter.
Since all parties involved are men or in some way adjacent to manhood, it’s hard to apply a predictable script of gender relations to these interactions. But it’s hard not to see a resemblance between “jocks” and “Chads,” “twinks” and “Stacys,” “InstaGays” and “E-Girls.” If this all sounds ridiculous, it is. But half a century of “Castro Clone” discourse has borne no fruit. Insightful conversations on intra-community power relations and people excluded from gay life on account of their bodies are too often overshadowed by a politics of sexual entitlement and resentment. It is then no longer about disparities of race, ability or class but 20 year olds with Lana Del Rey profile pics who have nothing to add to the conversation but their own unfunny memes and bitterness. Log off.